Study?

I'm doing Bad; Really ..
At this Rate I'm going to Fail my Exams; I'm not studying Like everbody else.
el3moum are having tuitions; o Yadressoun 24/7. Noumhum Bel Yalla o Nharhum Kutub .. !!

O Ana; 5alf Allah 3alay; Ga3ed 3al Frash Ya Nayem; Ya A6ale3 TV ..

I'm not saying that I'm not studying; But I'm not studying as hard as I should be!

This week is potentially my last school week ever; and I'm Sad .. I'm really Sad ..

I genuinely believe that I'm to young to leave school .. But the chances are there and I should get complete advantage of them!

My attention is diverted to Political Science .. I Really Wish that I'd Do what I want to do!

o Ba3ad .. ?

Ee; Its Morning; Elyoum Mwa9el ..

o mmm ..

Ee; On Sunday I Did something so courageous; but got 'Heart Broken'?; Well no; actually I was relieved that I looked her in the eye .. and didn't get anything after I had expressed my utter Admiration to her ..

O Ba3ad .. ?? .. Mmm ..

I'm sorry I'm not Blogging; I'm supposed to be studying .. O Please Ed3oulee 7ag el Ig's; Ya Rab Atwaffag; O I make my parents proud; they start at the 11th of May ..


O on Thursday is my prom night .. Bought a nice suit .. Going to dance my brains Off .. :P .. (( Ga3ed Ma A5allehum Y7awloun el Prom Jalsat Rwaiished )) .. ;p ..


Eeeh; O Bess; Till Then ..
Till The Beginning of the world cup?
Till My liberated ..

Till My Supposed Freedom ..

Graduate ..

Dear Average ..

Dear Average-q8i,
I hope you understand that I am writing you from the deepest feelings of good will that I possess. I currently feel that I do own the right to advise you and persuade you into going to the right path. You should also know that I love you a lot, and my good faith determine that I should write this letter to hopefully guide you to do good in your life.
Baq9am, you are currently in a very critical stage of your life. These times, can actually be nominated as one of your hardest times in your entire life. These times do require a huge amount of effort and determination as well as commitment. Your IGCSE's are one of the most important exams you will ever get. The may as well be, a very big test of will and organisation plus of course your knowledge.
I demand you, and I repeat, I demand you, that you should work extremely hard. I demand you to forget everything. I demand you that in the next couple of months, numerous weeks and less than a hundred days, that you would work and work and work. Study, Study and Study. Revise, Revise And Revise.
You may be in a situation that doesn't allow you to understand the amount of responsibility and effort this period of your life requires. But I'm telling you, dear Baq9am, Please Work hard. As these days aren't in any way repeatable and your future is way more important than your present.
Football matches, Dewania and Twitter/Blogger/MSN/Blackberry/Internet won't shape your future. These things could be reused again and again after the 11th of June. But your exams will finish, will disappear, will vanish after the 11th of June.
I would also would like you to think of the amount of pride and honour you'd serve to your parents. Your family when you work hard and get the results you've been anticipating. I would like you to think about the amount of faces you will prove wrong when you do good. I would like you to think about the joy you'll see in your mother's face. I would like you to think of the expressions of pride you'd find in your father's face; the assurance that he invested in the right place.
Please, Please, Please; A Request from the heart, the soul. please, work hard, Revise, Study, and Work .. PLEASE!
Not only for your own good, But for my own good too. I know you can, You know you can. Please CAN!

Love,
Baq9am (You) ..

Ya Wa3d ..

يــــا وعــد مغـفرةً إن فاتنــي خــبرُ
فـي لـــيل عيـنيك ها قد جئـــتُ أعتذرُ
عمـــرى فـــداء مـدى اللـيـل مكتحلا
وللعيــون التي فـــي طـــرفها حَــوَرُ

عينــــاكِ يــا وعـد قيـثاري و مـدفاتي و متّكاي .. مـلاذي فيه أسـتــترُ

و للعــيون حـديثٌ ليـس يـدركه الا الــذي شـفـّهُ العنقـود و الوتـــرُ
مهاجرٌ في العيون السود مقتحمٌ ديـــــاجـر الكُــحل إن الكُــحل لي قـدرُ

تــمـزّقت في مدى الإعصــــــــار أشرعتـــي
اعصــــارُ عيــنـــيك لا يـُـبــقي ولا يـــذرُ
نــــوارسُ العــشقُ شــالت بــــي مُــجـنحتاً
حيثُ السديـــم فــلا علــمٌ ولا خــــبـــــرُ

يـــــا ربّــة الشعر هل غـادرت من طلـلٍ؟
يــا رحلة العمر هل مادت بـك الصُـــــوَرُ؟
ماذا تــبــقى لــدينا غبّ عودتنــــــا؟
ديـــــوان شــعـــرٍ و دمعٌ ليـس ينهمر


يــــا وعــــد مغفرة إن فاتـــنـــي خـبر

Allah Y5aleeha Lee ..

Whatever I Do; Just A Drop in Your Sea ..
Allah Y5alleech Lee Ya Mammaa

Almost French Memories

Memories that suddenly raced through my mind today. Memories that I Would never wish they would be forgotten. Memories that engulf three friends. Three guys that are related in a very complicated fashion but once had a simple bond. A Simple bond that was Proven not so strong by time.

In that big garden that is viewed by that famous french embassy; where we used to play football; the three of us with our maids casting a nervy look at us. Them chatting with their beautiful 'Tagalog' language; and we trying to perfect our touches of that football.

We certainly didnt have a perfect relationship; the three of us; No. We had that traditional cousin tied bond. But with time, this bond strengthened; we became best friends; true best friends. We couldnt imagine a weekend without each other. Without that sleepover that combined the three of us.

Our fights were cute too. We had big fights sometimes. But somehow all so subtly, we get back together; in what 5 minutes.

The love of football glued us more together. And oh so conveniently our love for Arsenal glued us more together. Our late night matches together, Our Cereal-eating races (Which mostly i always won) .. Our unisons against each other; our football matches Bel 7oush.

OUR NICKNAMES .. :) ..

When we broke one of the house's windows. Funny Days?

But Then Somehow; The same as our bond strengthened; it weakened .. We grew out of each other i guess.
I cant get over how all so suddenly we were not friends.
Location differences contributed somehow; But we could've kept it strong ..

Our tastes changed i guess; We never needed each other anymore; We had other people to give us a hand; other than us.

Unfortunately ..

But the positive thing is that; We Have our memories!
something by this post; I Would never want to forget .. I Would like to relive again and again ..



Dedicated to my Childhood Memories' Stars .. J and 3 ..

Agnostic

I Think I reached This Point .. Im Not Ashamed By itt ..
I Dont Believe in anything right now ..
When I finish my Ig's I'll read my head off till I Get the Right Answer ..

The reason For this; Is the fact that I cant judge what do i want to be if im Influenced By Islam So much and I Am; that Takes my Better Judgement ..
I Hope after this experience I go back to Islam; But its Hard .. O i may turn to be something else ..

Bess I Still Pray; Bess Unfortunately with very little Faith ..

My Own Space

One of the few things i am looking forward to after my so-called graduation is getting my own place. I really dont care about where, when and how .. But i just want my own appartment/place of living.

Despite the fact that 90% of my chances of studying will be in my 'beloved' Kuwait; but 7atta lo I stay in Kuwait; I Will Demand my own place, Fight For my own territory!; Its not that im an isolated character in this life, Far from it .. But due to the fact that i was very social in my almost 16 years of my life .. I am longing for the opposite! ..

I Would TAKE the chance of being alone and independant; having my own style of things; getting stuff from my own sweat and money!; Having my friends over; Acting in a VERY free way in my haven!

I Would love to go to my appartment; and think 'Yes, Im going to rest now in my place' ..

I Dont think its the typical Kuwaiti Guy dream Bess why not .. Madree I Really Dont know ..

I just want my own Haven.

Doubt ..

I Hate This;
I Hate the fact that I am so ignorant in a huge amount of stuff going around my life!
I Hate the fact that the life I'm living in is not clear to me.
I Hate the fact; that I don't know! ..
I Hate the fact that I need to read and make a choice!
I Hate the fact that I reached the point of realising that I don't know.
I Hate the fact that I'm doubting One of the most revered things in Life!
I Hate the fact that I decided and promised myself to Go into an experience I cant know the outcome of!
I Hate Being Afraid; Scared; disillusioned!
I Hate Being shaky!
I Hate ignorance; I hate not knowing!
I Hate my education; I Hate my intelligence!
I Hate my personality that made me think like that!
I Hate being afraid!
I Hate being contradictive!
I Hate the fact that I may turn out to be not me!
I Hate the odds in the outcome of the experience I'm going to go through.
I Hate This!

Love?; Or Low?

People Can Be Very Fushin Low ..









Happy Valentine's Day .. :) ..

For Scouseology!

Hehheeeee ..

She Doesn't ..

He has this stupid attitude towards life. He says what's in his mind without any filtering. He doesn't understand that in this life and this era, honesty and the bare truth is not fully accepted. It's not accepted at all sometimes.

Hormones are shooting up and down his arteries and veins, seeking a moment of tenderness and affection from a liked one. He stupidly relates to everything he sees, hears and feels!
His analysis to specific details, he interpretation to any word or phrase. A blind way of life.

The thing is that he finds in her eyes the subtleness he longs for. He tries to explore the adventures of life in her writings, her talks and the details of her beautiful face. He wants to discover with her the torture of Love. He wants to replicate the romance inked in numerous brown papers and typed arially behind the screens of his laptop.

The problem is that he acknowledges the fact that he is just a teenager. He knows that these are just nuisance hormones that are going to be laughed at in future times, regretted sometimes too.
He understands that this 'is' the phase adults are talking about. The weird and hard times in his life. The awkward times of his life.

But ..

He wants to enjoy these times. He wants to know how to love as a teenager. He wants to document this phase of his life with stories of stupidity, laughter and the complete opposite of perfectness. He expects to have a memory full of events he will tell his sons and daughters about. And by now he is acknowledging that he is going too far with his thinking.

How?

'The way she enters a place with her paced walk and hurrying motion, wanting to reach her destination without grabbing the attention of people but by that she catches huge amounts of corners of eyes. Heads tilting; bodies turning. A perfect example of an illuminative piece of cuteness has just entered .. '

He Likes her!
He Likes her A lot ..

But ..

She says she Doesn't ..




He Doesn't Believe Her .. !!

She Vanished ..

She Vanished ..
In this Dim Street ..
Nobody's Left but me ..
Lonely Me ..

Listening to the Tree's coversations ..
And Wiping from my eyes the sleep ..
A Tear of Tiredness ..
A Tear of Damn ..
With a drop of Left over Rain ..
She Vanished ..

I Stood ..
In the middle of Blankness ..
And Remembered a Past night ..
A Night that past and ended in her Life ..
But In my Life didnt End ..
I Stayed Alone Here ..
Listening to the tree's Conversations ..
And Wiping the sleep out of my eyes ..
A Tear of Tiredness ..
A Tear of Damn ..
With a Drop of leftover rain ..
She Vanished ..

And How would i forget my date ..
Between this Old Path ..
At the same time Years ago ..
We Were both in Lust and Love ..
And how did the way separate us ..?









A Translated Song ..
Picture Credit To Khaled Al Masoud ..

An Apology ..

' E3thereenee .. ' <3 ..

My 2 Angels ..

I am really a very blessed person.

I am blessed with having 2 angels that guard me; Are there for me and Love me whenever I need them.
They mean life to me;

I Dont know who's the person that said a man can't have a clean friendly loving relationship with a women ??; With no sexual/romantic feelings arising .. ??

I Have 2 females in my life who are my best friends
They showed Me Me!
They Highlighted Me to Me ..


Thank You God for giving me this bliss ..

I LOVE THEM ..

A Cocktail Of Feelings ..

dizziness, tiredness, Minute Depression, Gratefulness, Far-Reaching Ambition, Pressured!! ..

And loads More Streaming in my Veins, Is it the Fact that im not opening a single book, Or Is it that Crush that i cant brush off After Several Tries!

I find Myself seeking measures to escape reality; Its Either by playing hours and hours of Football Manager Or by reading a Book, Or just sitting in a toilet counting tiles on the wall and the best way is to Sleep!

These measures are tiring me!!


---------------------------------------------------------


I also Hate the Fact that I lack Imagination!
I Lack the Ability to think, To Make, to Brainstorm!
To Write!
I Want To Write .. I Dream Of Writing, But I Cant!
WHY??

---------------------------------------------------------

I Dont Mind A Psychiatrist .. !!

A Lack of a Certain 'Want'

My Real Deal Ig Exams Are Coming up in 5 months.

well At the Beginning Let me Sum up to you what are MY Ig's (IGCSE Exams) ..
Well; The Period Where My Exams start and End is the Defining period of my Entire Life. It decides my Humble But Probably Festive Future. The 13 years of Studying are summarised in a 1-month exam Drenched/saturated period!

Well To See My Sum of those exams; You may think, Well a normal person would start studying Right Now, At this second to ensure a good percentage at the end; But unfortunately Ladies and Gentlemen, Average is far from Normal :( ..

These exams start at may, and People in my school are starting their tuitions and started preparing for those exams, But Me?; No; .. My Laptop is occupying 99% of my hours awake and the other hours of the day Im snoring .. :( ..

Why?

Well; I Lack the want to Study .. I Dont Know Why But I cant seem to make my brain adapt to the fact that; '' Ok Average start Studying, Attempt to Study' .. But Another No; I seem to Cant do it ?

remember My Mocks; My School Still didnt Issue my grades; So I think My Brain is waiting for those results ?; But Probably Its just lying to me .. :/ .. It wants me to think like that ..

Or is It El Shaii6an?
Madree .. :/ ..


What Do i Doo ??

PS; Now My Blog is done; How do i Advertise Itt :P?
I Suffer from LAck of Comments .. and Me; I Franklyy Need attention .. In Here and In Reality ..

I Lust Itt ..

Waking up in the morning, bored to death. Knowing that I will go through that routine of work that is always similar with its mostly unpleasant surprises. Having the thought at the back of my head that something is missing, expecting a bad event to happen in the next few hours.

Working as a paediatrician is hard work. Its not just having a childishly decorated office with lots of clichéd cartoon pictures. This is just the deceiving cover to a neck paining job.

Lots of Routine work ahead of me. Many over concerned parents with that extra bit of cash send their servants to me tagging along their obviously spoilt children with a little cough or running nose to check on them. Well I cant complain, these cases are the my primary source of income that I depend on.

The cases that really concern me and touch me deeply are the heart breaking ones. Parents with limited income forced to take a loan and bring their children for a diagnosis and a cure but for rare but possible cases, to get the definite bad news that their baby is going to highlight his mortality in a short period of time.

That case that i will eventually get is the one that is ringing the bells of reality at the back of my head for as hoping that this wont happen is a silly thought after time.

The Only thing that will exclude me of that effing reality is a cigarette.

That moment of pure exhilarance is what I Lust in my cigarette. Watching the orange baby flame flicker and fight its way through that entangled forest is enough to trigger my adrenaline glands every time.

Delivering that mysterious smoke to the air with such smoothness and seeing its successful efforts to camouflage itself in thin air is a endearing craving. Almost like mocking a magicians trick with such subtleness.

And With it having a cup of americano coffee that will knock out the small left out bits of sleep out of my head.

A small Part of me loves my job, A Big part of me loves what I do before my job. A Ciggy and Coffee!



*All of this is from My Imagination; Except the part of me lusting a ciggy .. ;p ..
** I DONT SMOKE!; I just lust it ..

Happy New Decade ..

2010 Is Tomorrow .. My grad Year Inshalla .. ;) ..

I'd Like to thank Anony For Her Support To mee In the Last What?; 6 Months? ..
She's Been Wonderful .. Happy New Decade Anonyy .. ;p ..

O Also other bloggers and Twitterees that Were just amazing with their good Words to me and Jokes We have .. ;p ..

Thank u All ..

And Happy New Decade Filled With Happiness And Love ..

Being A Jock ?

Nothing in my mind really ..

Congratulate me; im going to a gym nearly daily for the last week; Although i cant control my appetite; So I dont think am losing weight ..

Life is good for me this month .. el 7amdella .. Im not unhappy for anything .. Am just Content for what i have ..
A Healthy body ..
An Existing Family ..
A BlackBerry ..
And Great Friends ..

Next week My School Starts; and the Defining 6 months Of My life will Start .. A Countdown till my exams .. Till The Difference of Bad Life To Good Life ..
Pray For Me; Ya Rab Adress O Aa5eth ellee Allah Katba Lee ..
Inshalla Adesh el 6eb Fe Ay Mukan; El mohem 6eb ..
Inshalla Not Less Than 95% ..