Tuesday, July 26, 2011


*Warning - Unethical content in this post.

Trickles of sweat were tickling his temple as he sat on a bench alone, on a humid night, in the dim university campus, simply pondering on the sleeping trees.
He almost envied these trees for their ability to just sleep, uncaring of the outside elements of this world.
The trees' nakedness wasn't hindering them from the pleasure of exiting life for a few hours and returning on the mornings to resume their works.

A grin then escaped his lips. "I need to see a psychiatrist," he thought.

"Chub wala kelma!!"
"Ya S3oud, mu ana elly yengally chub, mu ana."
"Btasketeen wella shlon?, Menu entay A9lan?, Who the fuck are you?. Ga7ba, ga9ait 3alaiha bkelmetain, Necht-haa, O Al7een Lo ta7lem ma ra7 tetzawaj men 7atta zabbal bangaly!! Tgouleen 'mno ana?' Entay wala shay, WALA SHAY."
Tears were beginning to form in her eyes, as she gathered her bra and panties, without even caring to put them on. She quickly zipped up her dress and slammed the door as she left.
S3oud simply continued sipping his scotch.

"Just released, a police report just affirmed the death of a 19-year old female Kuwaiti student at the deceased's apartment in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. The report said, 'Sarah Al-Thamy committed suicide by over-dosing on Vicodin, a pain killer.' The investigation is going as to why Sarah killed herself. Police never found a suicide note." ABC News.

S3oud's insomnia kicked in.

Not in anyway is this a true story. Names are fake.

7 Months.

It has been around 7 months with me being in boring old Kansas. Studies aren't that great, well I have never been the study type, add to the fact that comprehending both calculus and chemistry is a difficulty I'm facing.

Life is good, yet I still didn't meet the right person for me to spend the next 3 years with in America. I'm referring to an American girlfriend of course ;). Nobody is noticing my beauty :(, bess wait for it.

Ma Wa7asht El Dar?

I miss Kuwait very dearly. Life here is not bad, but the comfort of home is longed for. Being asked about, knowing whats going on and sharing the grieves and happinesses with the family is something my heart aches about for not having.

And I miss writing. The inspiration is almost non-existent.

And believe it or not, my english is getting worst in America. Nobody is stimulating any intellect in my system, and everybody cares about drinking, smoking and possessing the best ass in Manhattan as a companion. That's the vice of being in a university town.

I went to Adele's concert dudes and dudettes. Something I'm bragging about although I know just a few of the lyrics in one song she sings.

Twitter has been gone in the last 2 months, as I was planning to 'concentrate' on my summer course, yet I believe it came to no positive avail, grades have barely gotten better, but they're better which is a good sign.

Its my exams period right now, and I wish I would do well and get the fuck out of here for a change.

Oh how much I miss blabbing around here, so Anony would comment and Zifny ;).

O Wait, let me dedicate a song to someone that may be reading this.

كنت أعرفك لما كان الحب يعرفك .. كنت أعرفك لما كان الطيب وصفك ..
كنت أشوف الدنيا فيك .. كنت أحب خوفي عليك ..
لكن إنت اليوم ثاني .. جاحد و قلبك أناني .. و السؤال عني يكلفك ؟ يبا كنت أعرفك ..

Well I'm not dedicating it literally because it doesn't really explain what I feel, bess inna its playing on my itunes now .. Lets continue ;p ..

عد و احسب كم عذرتك و كم عذر خليت عده ..
و عد جروحي من عرفتك .. و لا جرحي صعب عده ؟ ..
و أبعدك عن كل شكي .. و أنجرح و أسكت ما أحجي ..

Why is it that I'm feeling sad right now. I feel that, a select few that really care about me, which is sad La2ana y3ny, you'd think that you'd be cared about, bess inna la2, I don't feel it.
O I'm sad la2ana there is nobody that I really care about right now, nobody to share my emotions with. Just this blog and the occasional, although starting to be the rather frequent ciggy.

Such a liberating feeling to be able to write all of the random none sense that predecessed this sentence on a laptop's keyboard. And it doesn't require any energy at all, but a few minutes of worthless, misused minutes.

Till another, date-unknown, post, Tata.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Starbucks 8

*Warning* - Unethical content in this post.

Infatuation was the prime sense that seized Yousef's mind, heart and soul. He was intoxicated by that powering feeling, yet he did not resist its presence. He welcomed it and embraced its existence in his system, in his life.

A while went by, after that acquaintance, before he remembered that he noticed something different in Dalal's appearance. He recalled that he loved that variance in her, but it tormented him that he could not pin-point that change. It was absolutely excruciating on Yousef.

He sat there, at the same Starbucks, at the same green table, where he met Dalal the second time, on a beautiful Monday morning. Yousef convinced himself that he was there, again, to wait for 5aled to wake up, after a another partying night in Dubai, yet he could not take away the idea that he might meet her again and witness that beauty before his eyes.

As he sipped his regular white mocha, Yousef tried hard to relive those 5 minutes of his life. He thought to himself, as he realized how enchanted he was by her, about how ridiculously fast was the time for him to fall in her charm.

He sat waiting, and imagining for two long hours.

7amad was enjoying his last free day in Kuwait, before he goes back to the army's training camp on Monday. Sitting in the Derwaza Cafe, smoking the grape flavor which he always loved and eating a shitty burger for breakfast made by the lousy morning staff at the cafe, he fondly remembered how much he missed his friends' presence there.

7amad, although a failed graduate from a private English school, never forgot his bedouin heritage. But on the contrary, he tried to make it a part of his life. His love for camels and the desert never left him, and he was exceptionally extraordinary in poetry. 7amad always entertained 5aled and Yousef with his poems that were brilliant, and could compete with the best of poets, despite his young age, however, his military duties compelled him and his poetry to never see the daylight of publicity.

After finishing his meal, he decided to call Yousef.


28/12/2009 12:32 pm
Yousef was startled by his loud blackberry indicating to him that he had a phone call. "Aloo?"
"Hala BuYa3goub, kaif el 7al?"
"7maid? 3ash men sema3 hal 9ot, walla b5air 6al 3umrekk, Ent shlonekk, shemsawyy?"
"Wallah b5air, yserrik el 7al? Shfeeh 9otek ya 5ooy? 3asa ma shar?" 7amad noticed a difference in Yousef's voice.
"Ma shar, ya 5ouk, ma shar, bess tadry, Eddenya o balaweehaa" Yousef, although rarely spoke out his feelings, wanted to disclose some of the emotions in him.
"Esma3 wana o5ouk, goully shelly m'9aygekk o Inshallah, el 7al 3endy." 7amad pounced on the opportunity to glance inside Yousef's heart.
"Ya 7amad, tara shakly 6e7t eb mushkelat 7ub." Yousef exhaled in comfort whilst confessing that fact to 7amad.
As he heard that sentence, 7amad exclaimed, "Wana o5uu Lulwa, Yousef yenjeber?"
"Ee wallah ya 7amad, sheft shlon?"
7amad never believed in love and before letting Yousef continue he said, "Esma3 ya Yousef, hal 7mara elly 5aletek mahmoum ketha ma teswa. O esma3 hal baitain elly thekart-hum, wana asma3 saleftek ya Bu ya3goub."
7amad started reciting on the phone,

تكفى يا بو يعقا ترا خاطري ضاق .. ما عاد به ناس تصون المحبه ..

كل ما عشقت, الوقت يعطيني طراق .. يقوللي صحصح؟ علامك؟ تنبه؟ ..

إنت بزمن ما فيه عاشق و عشاق .. هذيك تفرك كسها و ذاك زبه ..

أبي لي حب عذري مثل شمس الاشراق .. حب الذي في دنيته خاف ربه ..

ما يهمني لو آخره يآتي فراق .. الحب جرح القلب و الخل طبه ..

"9a7 lsanekk ya 7amad." Yousef was amazed by how related he was with that poem.
"9a7 bdenek ya 5ouy, o 9addegny taraha ma testahlek ya BuYa3goub." 7amad still did not understand Yousef's situation.
"7abeeb alby ya 7amad, mashkourr Yal '3aly."
"elmohem, el dector janbekk?"
"La walla, Lail7een bel fende8, shaklaa nayem."
"Zain zain, el wekad ana asta2then al7een ya 5ouy, O tredd bel salama, wala tkadder 5a6rekk."
"7abeeby, mashkour, o allah ysalmek men kel shar, bye." Yousef teased
"Shno bye, esta7, Ma3a El salama."
Yousef smiled at how 7amad never forgot his culture. He was satisfied by 7amad's call and thanked God for his presence as a friend.

7amad used the opportunity of 5aled's seclusion from Yousef and gave the med student a call. 5aled was asleep.
"Aloo," 5aled grunted, disturbed by the phone call.
"Hala Buwaleed, Kaif el 7al?"
"Minu?, 7amad?"
"3ajal minu? Ga7betek?"
"Hala bel zain, shlonekk yal 5ewee?" 5aled still has last night's wild effects in his system.
"3alamek mraffe33? Shsawait el bare7?"
"Masawait shay, la tsaweelna suwalef."
"Elmohem ya Dector, 5eweeyekk Yousef kalamta gabel shway, kan metkadder. Abeek, wana o5ouk, traffe3 men jawwa shway. 5allah yestanes shway b-hal safra. Fahem Shagoulek?"
5aled almost fell in a snooze, listening to 7amad. "Ee, Ee weyyak."
"Ee, waddah hal 7aflat, o eshbeka ma3a wa7da, la t5alleeh brou7ah."
"7a9'er, Taamer Amer Yal 5ewee."
"Yalla, Ma Tshouf Shar, salaam."

After hanging up with his friend, 5aled contemplated that idea. He liked it, and planned on making it happen. "It is gonna be a wild fuckin week in fuckin DUBAI." He thought to himself. Smiling.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Starbucks 7

Regret began to infiltrate Yousef. The past two nights of drinking started to build up guilt in Yousef's conscience.
The reason why he drank was also cracking into him.
He drank because he thought of a girl that bewildered him. A girl that he saw just once, and could not take her off his mind. How could he do that? Why would he do that?

And now, here she was, heading towards him with a white paper cup, looking ever so fascinating. He met her again, at another Starbucks in another city, yet the effect was exactly the same.


Hatred was the other aspect of his feelings. He hated the bars, he hated his mentality, he hated his lack of faith. He realized how big of a mistake drinking was. Not only to him, but the shame that would be bought to his family, if anybody knew.

He hated how he honored his late mother. He honored her by getting wasted.

The girl that made his heart beat faster with each step she takes to approach him shouldn't be forgotten through drinking. The girl that thrived with confidence, as she strides through the cafe, should be remembered. That girl, thought Yousef, should be loved.


27/12/2009 9:12
"Shfeek?" Said the girl, as she seated herself opposite of Yousef and noticed the different, grim expression on his face.
Yousef quickly adjusted his mindset and offered a genuine smile to her direction, "Mafeeny shay, 6al 3umrech, bess kent ga3ed afakker bsha'3la." Replied Yousef truthfully.
"Ahaa, my name is Dalal by the way." Said Dalal, as she returned the smile to Yousef.

Dalal & Yousef

"3ashat el asamy Dalal," he replied, "Wana esmy Yousef."
"O ne3m a5 Yousef."
"Allah yen3am b7alech, 6al 3umrech."
"Ee, O Shga3ed tsawy B-Dbay Mr. Yousef." Said Dalal with a playful smile, to try to break the ice.
"Walla, just partying out the engineering stress with a friend."

That innocent beauty.
That excruciatingly pretty smile.
Those eyes. Those indescribable eyes.

"Yousef, Yousef." Dalal called, interrupting his thoughts.
"Hala, 6al 3umrech, aamray." Yousef noticed that she was talking to him whilst he stared blatantly, straight at her eyes.
"Wain sera7t?" Although that was the second time she ever saw him, she felt comfortable asking him that question.
"Haa, laa walla, bess y3ny don't get me wrong, your eyes mashallah, wayed 7elween."
A blush escaped Dalal's cheeks. "Thanks." The reply was formal, yet that wasn't what she was feeling.
Before saying anything else to regain himself, Dalal continued, "El mohem, I got to go, 9ar akthar men 5 minutes, o a5af my cousins y7atouny, nice chatting with you Yousef, o hope to see you soon."
As she started to stand up from her seat, Yousef looked up and asked confidently, "And how will that happen, if I know nothing about you but your first name?"
"I'm sure I will," returned Dalal with the same confidence. "There are a lot of Starbuckses in this world."
A smile followed.
Understanding that particular remark, "Bye Dalal." Said Yousef with a grin overwhelming his face.
"Bye Yousef."

Butterflies never escaped their tummies, that day.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Starbucks 6

Those brown eyes never left his mind. He kept thinking about them, endlessly. Yousef thanked his memory for remembering them so vividly.
He longed for more, he wanted to know more. What did she like? What did she hate? Was what he looked that day good? Good for her?
Who was she?
What's her name?

Yousef was waiting for 5aled to wake up after his long, eventful night out. Morning was Yousef's time, he loved the early, fresh breeze and thought that he could think much better in his mornings. Sipping his usual white mocha, with extra espresso shots to erase last night's heavy ingestion of Jin and watched people commute in and out the cafe.

Preferring the seat outside, to smoke his cig, Yousef let his mind wander. He let his mind wander into the details of her eyes.


28/12/2009, 9PM
"Oh it's you again?"
Startled, Yousef replied, "5air?" The face wasn't strange, thought Yousef. He knew those details, more than expected. A Deja Vu, he concluded hastily.
"Enta, the engineering guy, elly kent eb Mishref. Ee Enta."
Suddenly, the eyes began to sink into Yousef's system. She was her. "Entay." Yousef replied stupidly.
Glad he recognized her, "7asafa, there are no notes I can peek into this time," she replied with a fake frown.
Regaining his composure, he said, "Ma ye7taj yuba, a coffee is more than enough for you to have a seat, 6al 3umrech." He could not believe his own eyes.
"La, you seem to be enjoying yourself alone, I don't want to intrude, I just wanted to say 'hi'."
"Believe me, company is something very welcome with me."
"Ok, just for 5 minutes la2ana my cousins na6reeny in the hotel room, bess 5al aa5eth a mocha o ayee."
"7ayyach Allah."

Was this a start of something, wondered Yousef, as he watched her ordering from the barista?

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Starbucks 5

The death of Yousef's mum didn't really help him. The frustration, the anger that builded up in him was immense. Looking at his mum being carried from a cold room, seeing the familiar outlines of her body on top of people's shoulders, covered in a white cloth. Forced into praying in the front row of his mother's funeral. She, being so close, yet so far wasn't an easy thing to handle for young Yousef.

He was also moved by his father's behavior. Recognizing, for the first time, the weakness any human being can be exposed to. His father, the successful, wealthy, business man. The person that divorced his mother, the person that seemed to hate her, that talked shit about her all the time, was weak, fractured in her lifeless presence under that sheet. Tears never left his father's red eyes, and occasional bursts of baby whimpers were noticed by Yousef.

That was the first time Yousef was really tested by life, and it was a tough lesson that Yousef never passed.

After a period of lonesome time, Yousef, under the continuous pressure of his father to enjoy his time and get out of that depressing state, travelled to Dubai for the first time without his family. 7amad accompanied. A virtually unlimited cash flow was in Yousef's credit card, with the blessings of his father.

To say the least, it was fun.


"Ha Buwaleed, elyom Ay Club?" was Yousef's question, as he entered 5aled's room.
"Wallaa chinna Mal Ams Jayyed?, Mu Chithee?"
"Laa?, Ent tathker shay men Ams Allah Yhadak, 3ashan T3arf etha kan jayyed Wella La2?" Yousef joked, to start a chuckle between the two.
"Walla, La2." Answered 5aled. "A9lan nasee Esmaa ba3ad."
"Shfeek Ent Ath-wal?, Esma The Lodge"
"Yalla, 3ayal grayyeb, 5anrou7laa again?"
"Ana adree laish yal kalb tabee trou7, Hatheek elleeee Rega9t weyyaha o ma 5alait shay ma jesta feeha, shakelha mwa3detekk Ehnak?"
"Went shdarak 3anhaa?, Ana 7a6 3ainy 3alaik, ma hadait el kas, O Kent 6afee, Shlon La7a9't?"
"Yuba, 5ft la teshtekee 3alaik, Lammast Ellee Aku wellee maku, Shway shway, mu chithee 3ad"
"Ya Yousef, Ent shfeek?, Hatha el fan yuba. Ent mu meshait mbacher?, Raddat Weyyay Jessica, O kanat Laila men Bed Elleyalee"
"Kiss Ummek, SHLON? Ent wain o Hal 7elwa Wain? A5af 3amya"
"Expertise yuba, Expertise?" 5aled continued, "Went Laish ma 5athait Ma 9'aba6t A7ad?, Thalatha yaw solefaw weyyak. Shfeek?, Hal yomain chinnaa el Dubai personality ellee 3endekk 6aye7 Sougaa?"
"Walla madree, 7atta rag9 ma rega9t T9addeg?"
"Shfeeek, Bess masek hal Vodka o Ga3ed?"
Yousef hid his beautiful secret from 5aled, he didn't want to share a cheesy, romantic story at this moment with 5aled. So he kept silent.
"Ahaaa!" Exclaimed 5aled. "Dam chithe El Salfa, Goum baddel, Warana the lodge, I wannaaa lodge it, in it, yuba"
"La tensa el Durex, Mu tneechly Ay wa7da, 3ala bu ennaa Sakran o matadree 3an hawa darekk Lamma tred?"
"Taamer Amer M3alemnaa, O Ba3dain Ana el 6abeeb mu ent" 5aled, Joked again.

The night was very similar to the last. Yousef kept to his drinks, with shots of Jin with Mountain Dew being the main theme of his drinking night. And 5aled, went on working his magic with the various, diverse, hot expats in short dresses looking for some warmth from december's chills on the dance floor and possibly, hotel suites.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Starbucks 4

Yousef never really loved a person before. He did have his occasional crushes in his previous school years, with gorgeously looking girls always within his sight, but never really loved a person. He respected girls, appreciated love, but never experienced it.

On the other hand, girls were all over Yousef. They were awed, by his mysterious personality. The calmness he always possessed, his well built body and his smile.

7amad, was a different story. 7amad loved the attention. He was the popular guy, and he always wanted to drag Yousef into the same kind of life. 7amad, did get the girls. He actually tossed them around, having a relationship one day, and breaking up for stupid reasons the other. 7amad was frustrated by Yousef's lack of action toward the girls that desperately longed for just a kind word from him.

Yousef was entertained by 7amad's short relationships. How 7amad would promise love and be all serious about it and shortly later, he would be dissing the girl and making fun of her, being mad. And the cycle would continue for months to come. Yousef often also offered fruitful advice to 7amad, when asked for, and they would, most of the time, work. 7amad always wondered how a guy like Yousef, with minimal experience, would know so much about girls and their lives, how they acted and how to deal with it.

"Why the fuck doesn't he date someone?" 7amad repeatedly asked.


Yousef just woke up from a deep sleep on the comfortable King-Sized bed of Jumeirah Beach's Movenpick. It was about 3:30 PM and he was hungry. 5aled would be reaching Dubai by 8:00 PM so he wouldn't wait that long for him without food. Showering in the white bathroom, and went down to 'The Walk' to look for his favorite Indian restaurant, Indian Palace.

Whilst eating, a brilliantly cooked Beryani, Yousef was thinking about that previous sighting.

Where Was she heading?
Who was with her?
Why the fuck is she so gorgeous?
Why am I still thinking about her?
Did she notice me?
Is she possibly in Dubai?

He tried spotting her in Gate 21, the Fly Emirates gate in Kuwait's airport, but he didn't find her. She engulfed his mind, she was constantly there, mingling in him, infiltrating his heart. Why?

He then shifted his thoughts to what he was going to do in Dubai. Suddenly a faint smile built up on his face. Yousef was planning on having fun here, with 5aled as usual.
He then remembered 5aled's comment once in a gathering in their gahwa, "Yousef Dbay 3'air 3an Yousef LeKwait, 3'aaiiir."
The smile turned from a faint one to an outright one.

"Do you want a refill on that Heineken, sir?" Asked the waitress.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Starbucks 3

Yousef grew up in an unusual household. His parents separated when he was 10, but that didn't actually hurt him. He never thought much about it. He liked his parents together, but their continuous fights made them seem much better separated. The complications after a few years of the divorce did affect Yousef.

Yousef didn't have to move out of his house, he stayed in it with his mother. His father got another house with another wife 6 months later.
A few years after that, when Yousef was a month from celebrating his fourteenth birthday, he received life-alternating news.

Whilst in class at school, the Co-ordinator came into the class and asked for Yousef to step out and talk to him. Whilst getting up, Yousef kept recapping the day in his head to remember if he did anything stupid that required that unexpected intervention by Mr. Harry. Getting out of class, Yousef noticed a very nervous facial impression. Mr. Harry lead him to his office and offered Yousef a seat that he accepted. "Your father is going to pick you up in a few minutes Yousef," Mr. Harry began.
"Why?" Was the response by Yousef.
"Um, it seems there is some kind of emergency at home, but I know no details." The untruthful impression was responding.
Moments later, a startled maid came by and said that Yousef's father was in the reception. Yousef walked confidently, but a pinch in his heart was aching everything in his body. Curiosity was, too, eating up on him.
As soon as Yousef's father laid eyes on his son, very rare tears began pouring down his dad's eyes. Yousef was just standing there, trying to absorb what was causing all of this. Nausea is the primary feeling in his body right now. Tears were also seen on the receptionist's cheeks and the maid too.
"Baba, Sh9ayer?, Shfeek ga3ed tabchee?"
Yousef's father hugged Yousef, a very strong hug.
"BABA, SHFEEEK??" Yousef exclaimed.
Between his tears, his father said, "Ta3al el Sayara, awal shay."
Without any defiance, Yousef went to the car.
"Yousef, 3a9'am Allah Ajrekk"
More calmly, with panic building up, "Meno Tewaffa?"


Yousef was entering Kuwait International Airport, with just a small carry on bag following him on wheels. He planned on spending the winter break at Dubai. Finishing the check-in process at Fly Emirates, he was glad to see the long-haired, topless, green mermaid's logo. Yousef, noticed his heart's skip of beat, as he remembered the incident 3 months ago at Mishref.
Ordering his usual white mocha, that lacked any whip, he thought back to that particular incident. Yousef learned that, even the attempt of trying to recall that day, bought joy to his heart.

That white dress,
The brown hermes bag,
That perfectly tanned skin.
That white, angelic, knee-lengthed dress,
The depth of her brown eyes, almost matching the bag's antiquity.
The courage,

A boarding call to his plane, interrupted his thoughts, and alerted him to go through to the gate. As he cleared his Starbucks' table, he sighted a familiar figure. A very recent sighting of that person was probably what made them so familiar. Yousef tried so hard to remember the name of that person.
Adjusting his sight more towards them, furry Ugs were captivating the lower part of her skinny dark-blue jeans. On top, she was hugged by a thick, heavy, grey Georgetown University hoodie.
Fixating his pupils on her long brown hair, and then on those brown eyes. Everything suddenly got much more clearer. The person that captivated his thoughts, was once again infront of him. Alone. Seconds later, a guy approached her and offered her a grande Starbucks beverage.
Not caring about the frequent 'No Smoking' announcements, he took out a dunhill, lit it up, and complained to his everlasting best-friend.