In a couple months time I'll be tweeting from Uncle Sam's pad.
I got accepted in Civil Engineering at the United States of America by the Ministry of Higher Interior.
Now the thing is, what university should I go to?
I've been impresses a lot by Penn State University, but I do have a lot of other options.
I really regret the fact that I'm not going to be stationed in England.
Also for the fact that I won't be studying Political Science, but then again, this is life. I'll try to nurture whatever I got that needs to be preserved and hopefully pursue a related career.
3eedkum Mbarak By the way.
Anony still awaits her long forgotten 9ou3'a .. Which I'll try to bring in for her anytime soon.
Saher el Lail!, That's me :( ..
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
Future Engineer?
I just applied at the Ministry of Higher Education for a scholarship to London, and unwillingly listed 4 wants of 3 different typed of engineering.
Come kill me right now.
I despise anything related to maths/physics. And I'm shoving myself into just that.
7asayef!
Malee 5lg Akamel Ketaba ;p ..
Too lazy ..
Too Fat .. ;p . .
Come kill me right now.
I despise anything related to maths/physics. And I'm shoving myself into just that.
7asayef!
Malee 5lg Akamel Ketaba ;p ..
Too lazy ..
Too Fat .. ;p . .
Friday, August 13, 2010
Solidaire Memoirs
27/7/2010 23:55
Downtown, Beirut.
Absorbing the familiar feel of Beirut's biggest tourist attraction, Sale7 got seated at the reasonably crowded Le Petit Cafe. With music on full blast at M7md 3abdu's songs, and the uncomfortable hustle of the waiters, he tried to suck everything in with a deep inhale of the smoke of different Sheesha Flavors, followed by a rejuvenating exhale to balance everything in his system.
Whilst tipping the waiter, Sale7 ordered his usual 'two apples' m3assal, with a glass full of ice to accompany his can of Pepsi. He, then, set his sights on the tables nearby and examined every face, every piece of clothing and every beauty surrounding him.
Solidaire was, as usual, bustling with life. Pretty gals, mostly Saudi, filling up the center attraction of this city. And Sale7 wasn't complaining, he didn't mind some eye candy.
As he puffed rich, white, apple flavored, smoke through the atmosphere, he heard the starting tunes of a once favored song. Tunes that he wished he wouldn't listen to again. Tunes that particularly raised his emotions. Especially in Lebanon, especially in Solidaire.
He listened as the tunes soon collaborated with words and became a perfect portrayal of him and his past and present and maybe his distant future.
The song.
1/6/2009 20:20
Downtown, Beirut.
"Sale7, Chenni De5t." Said the soundly synced voice of Layla.
Sale7 Returned. "Shasaweelech?, Tawha Ma 9arat Tes3, O Ana Emmazejj 7aleyyan Ma3a BuNourah O Sheeshtee, Fa Ma 3alaiich Amer, Bakammel Tamzeejtee."
"Enzain Banam, Walla De5t! Yalla 3ad Sallou77."
"Tara Ana el Dala3 el Zayed Hathaa, Ma Yamshee 3endee, Tabeen Tamsheen?, Ka Aku Malyoun Taxi, 20 Dollar o Ywaddeech el She88a" Sale7 replied saracastically.
"Bess enta Tadree, Ya A5 9ale7, el 7abeeb, Ennee Ana Ma A3arf Anaam ellaa 3ala Karshetekk" She replied with an increased pitch in her voice.
"9ij?" Rhetorically.
"Ee yuba, T3awwadt 3ala karshetekk hathe"
"Enzain Layla, bess t5ale9 hal e3'neyaa namshe, Ok 7abeebtee?"
As she rested her head on his shoulder, Layla whispered, "Sale7, tara a7ibbik"
With a long kiss on her head, he replied gently "Wana akthar!"
As a tear began to build up, Sale7 fixated his sight at the people pilgriming The Solidaire, showing off their lavish clothing and sparkly accessories. Reminiscing on the possibilities that followed that heavenly night. The innocence that engulfed it and her. 'A touch of majestic brilliance' as he always described her.
The more he thought of that particular moment of time, the more pain seemed to choke his own breath. That moment, that summed up her. Just Her. Layla.
Memories began to flood.
15/7/2009
EddeSands, Jubail.
At the famous beach, a large percentage of the attendance were model-like beauties. Layla sensed her heart sinking into her chest as a hint of jealousy started to unease her presence. She forgot to acknowledge her lengthy hours at the gym, her slim figure and the eyes turning at the sight of her entrance to the pool area with a very short overall that covered a soon-to-bewilder red bikini.
She clasped Sale7's hand as she picked two beach chairs and got seated after arranging the towels.
Layla took off her overall and lied down on the extended chair to get comfortable under the sun. She, then, began to oil herself with the suntan and caught a glimpse of Sale7 staring at her.
"Shfeek T6ale3 Chithee?!"
"I'm stunned?!"
"Laish Balla?, Feeh Shay 3'ala6 Shaklee?!" Layla said as she was checking herself for faults"
"Perfection" He replied with utter confidence that surprised her.
"3asa Allah La Ya7remnee Mennekk"
Hidden tears followed.
Downtown, Beirut.
Absorbing the familiar feel of Beirut's biggest tourist attraction, Sale7 got seated at the reasonably crowded Le Petit Cafe. With music on full blast at M7md 3abdu's songs, and the uncomfortable hustle of the waiters, he tried to suck everything in with a deep inhale of the smoke of different Sheesha Flavors, followed by a rejuvenating exhale to balance everything in his system.
Whilst tipping the waiter, Sale7 ordered his usual 'two apples' m3assal, with a glass full of ice to accompany his can of Pepsi. He, then, set his sights on the tables nearby and examined every face, every piece of clothing and every beauty surrounding him.
Solidaire was, as usual, bustling with life. Pretty gals, mostly Saudi, filling up the center attraction of this city. And Sale7 wasn't complaining, he didn't mind some eye candy.
As he puffed rich, white, apple flavored, smoke through the atmosphere, he heard the starting tunes of a once favored song. Tunes that he wished he wouldn't listen to again. Tunes that particularly raised his emotions. Especially in Lebanon, especially in Solidaire.
He listened as the tunes soon collaborated with words and became a perfect portrayal of him and his past and present and maybe his distant future.
The song.
1/6/2009 20:20
Downtown, Beirut.
"Sale7, Chenni De5t." Said the soundly synced voice of Layla.
Sale7 Returned. "Shasaweelech?, Tawha Ma 9arat Tes3, O Ana Emmazejj 7aleyyan Ma3a BuNourah O Sheeshtee, Fa Ma 3alaiich Amer, Bakammel Tamzeejtee."
"Enzain Banam, Walla De5t! Yalla 3ad Sallou77."
"Tara Ana el Dala3 el Zayed Hathaa, Ma Yamshee 3endee, Tabeen Tamsheen?, Ka Aku Malyoun Taxi, 20 Dollar o Ywaddeech el She88a" Sale7 replied saracastically.
"Bess enta Tadree, Ya A5 9ale7, el 7abeeb, Ennee Ana Ma A3arf Anaam ellaa 3ala Karshetekk" She replied with an increased pitch in her voice.
"9ij?" Rhetorically.
"Ee yuba, T3awwadt 3ala karshetekk hathe"
"Enzain Layla, bess t5ale9 hal e3'neyaa namshe, Ok 7abeebtee?"
As she rested her head on his shoulder, Layla whispered, "Sale7, tara a7ibbik"
With a long kiss on her head, he replied gently "Wana akthar!"
As a tear began to build up, Sale7 fixated his sight at the people pilgriming The Solidaire, showing off their lavish clothing and sparkly accessories. Reminiscing on the possibilities that followed that heavenly night. The innocence that engulfed it and her. 'A touch of majestic brilliance' as he always described her.
The more he thought of that particular moment of time, the more pain seemed to choke his own breath. That moment, that summed up her. Just Her. Layla.
Memories began to flood.
15/7/2009
EddeSands, Jubail.
At the famous beach, a large percentage of the attendance were model-like beauties. Layla sensed her heart sinking into her chest as a hint of jealousy started to unease her presence. She forgot to acknowledge her lengthy hours at the gym, her slim figure and the eyes turning at the sight of her entrance to the pool area with a very short overall that covered a soon-to-bewilder red bikini.
She clasped Sale7's hand as she picked two beach chairs and got seated after arranging the towels.
Layla took off her overall and lied down on the extended chair to get comfortable under the sun. She, then, began to oil herself with the suntan and caught a glimpse of Sale7 staring at her.
"Shfeek T6ale3 Chithee?!"
"I'm stunned?!"
"Laish Balla?, Feeh Shay 3'ala6 Shaklee?!" Layla said as she was checking herself for faults"
"Perfection" He replied with utter confidence that surprised her.
"3asa Allah La Ya7remnee Mennekk"
Hidden tears followed.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
88%!
They Say I Passed!
Well; Actually I Passed ..
El 7amdelela; I never imagined I'll get this much with the effort i gave in; Which is next to nothing!
Thank God .. O Inshalla I'll do well in life and make my parents Proud ..
Well; Actually I Passed ..
El 7amdelela; I never imagined I'll get this much with the effort i gave in; Which is next to nothing!
Thank God .. O Inshalla I'll do well in life and make my parents Proud ..
Friday, August 6, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
Horizon
It was just an ordinary stroll took by 'him' along the beach. No pre-walk plans, no scheduled timings ahead of it. Nothing. Just a thought about walking, that triggered the actual stroll.
Alone.
He did believe that a person should take a few hours off his surroundings and have some moments for himself. The thing is that, most of his hours were to himself already. Nobody asking about him, and not reaching out to anyone. Just him and himself.
He started off alongside the approaching water. Barefooted. Feeling the coldness stored by the sea throughout the months of the summer sun.
Almost sensing that the sea is trying to show off it's successful efforts in withholding the cold temperature in it. But then he remembered how, he had the same coldness in him, despite of the heated events around him. He seized feelings.
He felt that, just thinking about those incidents a couple of months ago, he can collapse on the cold waves.
His sight transfixed towards the sky. That black canvas, glittered with countless stars. He recognized that sighting, he related to it. But couldn't figure out exactly how did he know it.
Suddenly, his chest ached. A wave of pain, rushed through his body. A sign. He then realized.
His heart. That black blank shape above of him was an exact portrayal of his own source of living.
That organ was black, enlightened by three stars, three loves.
Nothing else.
The stillness of that night scared him. Terrified him. The stillness took over the ever-increasing tone of the waves.
He sat down for a while, resting his tired body after that long walk. Looking out at the horizon. Noticing the minute, newborn rays of the rising sun peeking out of the stretched length of the sea.
The sea was growing fiercer every little moment.
He lied down on the moistening sand. Impressed by the breath-taking rise of the sun, the fast growth of light rays. Contemplating the opening of a new blank 'white' page. A virgin start.
Just as the exhilarating thoughts began rushing through his head, he saw a massive wave approaching steadily towards him. A similar one building up in his chest, hurting every muscle of his body.
He Laid on his back in an attempt to brush the, now, excruciating pain out of his system. Closing his eyes fooling his body into sleep.
The wave washed him, and resided back to it's sea.
Not to open his eyes again.
Alone.
He did believe that a person should take a few hours off his surroundings and have some moments for himself. The thing is that, most of his hours were to himself already. Nobody asking about him, and not reaching out to anyone. Just him and himself.
He started off alongside the approaching water. Barefooted. Feeling the coldness stored by the sea throughout the months of the summer sun.
Almost sensing that the sea is trying to show off it's successful efforts in withholding the cold temperature in it. But then he remembered how, he had the same coldness in him, despite of the heated events around him. He seized feelings.
He felt that, just thinking about those incidents a couple of months ago, he can collapse on the cold waves.
His sight transfixed towards the sky. That black canvas, glittered with countless stars. He recognized that sighting, he related to it. But couldn't figure out exactly how did he know it.
Suddenly, his chest ached. A wave of pain, rushed through his body. A sign. He then realized.
His heart. That black blank shape above of him was an exact portrayal of his own source of living.
That organ was black, enlightened by three stars, three loves.
Nothing else.
The stillness of that night scared him. Terrified him. The stillness took over the ever-increasing tone of the waves.
He sat down for a while, resting his tired body after that long walk. Looking out at the horizon. Noticing the minute, newborn rays of the rising sun peeking out of the stretched length of the sea.
The sea was growing fiercer every little moment.
He lied down on the moistening sand. Impressed by the breath-taking rise of the sun, the fast growth of light rays. Contemplating the opening of a new blank 'white' page. A virgin start.
Just as the exhilarating thoughts began rushing through his head, he saw a massive wave approaching steadily towards him. A similar one building up in his chest, hurting every muscle of his body.
He Laid on his back in an attempt to brush the, now, excruciating pain out of his system. Closing his eyes fooling his body into sleep.
The wave washed him, and resided back to it's sea.
Not to open his eyes again.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Jumeirah Beach Residence
Yes, Im in Dubai!
How fast things can go is scary.
Not only that, after a few hours I'll be heading back to Kuwait after exactly one week staying in the mostly humid, outrageously high rising city of Dubai.
And, oh yes, I enjoyed every moment of it.
From the seemingly endless hours of reading Jeffery Deaver's thrillers in Movenpick's lobby to the brilliantly unscripted magical moments with my best friend and his cousin and his my best friend's father.
Great moments, really!
And oh, let me mention something. I've never seen as much knees, yes knees, in one place as much as Dubai.
el wa9'3 Sebeeeeeeeeeeel ..
You'd think you're in Europe, if not for the unmistakable gulf weather and the frequent Arabic inscriptions on the road signs.
Other than that, Knock your fuckin self out.
Not to mention, yesterday's venture to the hotel's last 'Party' before Ramadhan. The drinking, smoking and dancing was all new territory for me.
And No, rest assured, I didnt experiment.
This week, along with the tons of photos I personally took, shouldn't be forgotten, as it is really a refresher and a soothing way to prepare us, me and my bestie, for the IGCSE results upcoming on the 12th of next month.
Shit!
Anyways, I really enjoyed this.
And also, I really miss my beloved Kuwait.
Now let me go finish the remaining 35 chapters of Rajaa Al Sanea's Girls of Riyadh, that I am really Savoring and Relishing, and aiming to finish before reaching Kuwait.
How fast things can go is scary.
Not only that, after a few hours I'll be heading back to Kuwait after exactly one week staying in the mostly humid, outrageously high rising city of Dubai.
And, oh yes, I enjoyed every moment of it.
From the seemingly endless hours of reading Jeffery Deaver's thrillers in Movenpick's lobby to the brilliantly unscripted magical moments with my best friend and his cousin and his my best friend's father.
Great moments, really!
And oh, let me mention something. I've never seen as much knees, yes knees, in one place as much as Dubai.
el wa9'3 Sebeeeeeeeeeeel ..
You'd think you're in Europe, if not for the unmistakable gulf weather and the frequent Arabic inscriptions on the road signs.
Other than that, Knock your fuckin self out.
Not to mention, yesterday's venture to the hotel's last 'Party' before Ramadhan. The drinking, smoking and dancing was all new territory for me.
And No, rest assured, I didnt experiment.
This week, along with the tons of photos I personally took, shouldn't be forgotten, as it is really a refresher and a soothing way to prepare us, me and my bestie, for the IGCSE results upcoming on the 12th of next month.
Shit!
Anyways, I really enjoyed this.
And also, I really miss my beloved Kuwait.
Now let me go finish the remaining 35 chapters of Rajaa Al Sanea's Girls of Riyadh, that I am really Savoring and Relishing, and aiming to finish before reaching Kuwait.
Friday, July 9, 2010
ABK'er
Our trip to Lebanon have been cancelled, and the annoying fragments of boredom have been increasing by the millisecond.
So, with the great intervention acted out by Ma Mere, she, so surprisingly, got me a summer job with The Ahli Bank of Kuwait.
The nice thing about the flawed job is that, I would wake up everyday at 6:30, take a refreshing shower, slip into the already prepared and incensed dishdasha, put on, so gratefully, my 3'etra and wake up my dad to deliver to the Head office of the Bank.
Not to metion, my agonizing footwear which consists of some kind of pointy shoes, made apparently to annoy the wearer of such item.
Although yesterday just marked my 3rd day of a 3-week journey at the bank, I noticed the absolute lack of work I was handed.
I'd just sit behind a person who at that moment hates his life, and to increase his frustration, I'm added to the equation, and he would, oh so unmannerly, teach me the arts of such job.
At only my third day, I noted that most of them would give up on me, and just spill their miseries to my listening and comprehending ear. They would, excusably, talk about their regrets, and how they hate their job. How they wished they would continue their studies, and have a better job. Their talks have a lot of needed advice to me. I'm always listening and handing a consolable word or two. But most of them just fucked up.
And the clients, well most of them have petty problems and just need to acknowledge the existence of the World Wide Web and actually learn how to solve them, whilst the others do just worry about the couple of thousands of Dinars in their bank account. The costumers are good, Sh7alat-hum, a lot of them come with a good-hearted will.
The thing that is shocking, is the amount of commissions charged at each and every transaction. Dinars and Dinars are wasted from costumers and clients on very easy transactions. And the more shocking thing is that almost all of these commissions can be played around and dealt with, with no single Fils wasted.
The Bank is actually good, the beautiful thing about it is that most of the people working have a good aroma and presence. No air of hatred or bad charisma.
3-days, and more of this is actually noted but forgotten right now.
Now the question is, should I mention the name of the bank or is it unprofessional from my part. I seem to be very critical in this post. I'm almost imagining the manager actually calling me up to her office demanding an explanation for this post. But, then again, Its not like my blog is the most read thing in Kuwait!
gonna Post it!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
And Again!
Its like history is repeating itself.
I'm heading to Lebanon, again by car, on the 2nd or 3rd.
The thing is, this time, I'm not really looking forward for the trip. I mean, I realised that travelling to Lebanon with just the family, is somewhat boring.
I'm a 16 year old.
I need my freedom, my fun. My Older brother won't come, my older sister won't come. I'm stuck with my parents, and *Younger sisters.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, on the contrary, thank God I have the opportunity to actually travel. But. It can be much more fun with cousins, friends.
This time for the road trip, I will be much more equipped as I learned from my past experience.
Essentials;
- Ipod
- A readable Book
- Flash Light
- A Good Cushion
- Camera
I really hope, I'd enjoy this trip.
I know that I adore Lebanon, its weather, people, girls! Everything.
I just need something to make me feel less than an actual prisoner.
I hope my dad would let me drive through this treacherous trip, I need some fun for God's sake!
I'm heading to Lebanon, again by car, on the 2nd or 3rd.
The thing is, this time, I'm not really looking forward for the trip. I mean, I realised that travelling to Lebanon with just the family, is somewhat boring.
I'm a 16 year old.
I need my freedom, my fun. My Older brother won't come, my older sister won't come. I'm stuck with my parents, and *Younger sisters.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, on the contrary, thank God I have the opportunity to actually travel. But. It can be much more fun with cousins, friends.
This time for the road trip, I will be much more equipped as I learned from my past experience.
Essentials;
- Ipod
- A readable Book
- Flash Light
- A Good Cushion
- Camera
I really hope, I'd enjoy this trip.
I know that I adore Lebanon, its weather, people, girls! Everything.
I just need something to make me feel less than an actual prisoner.
I hope my dad would let me drive through this treacherous trip, I need some fun for God's sake!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
UmSalem!
My one and only.
The candle that lights my family.
The smile that melts my heart.
The hug, that solves everything.
The innocent kiss, that I need, I just need for me to complete my day efficiently.
The talks, the surprisingly intriguing talks, that richen my heart with joy, pride and unlimited love.
UmSalem, I Can't sum her up in a post. Hell, she can never be summed up.
She owns one of those rarely found hearts, that never explored evilness. A heart that is absolutely free of hatred. A heart that never holds any grudges.
A heart that literally pours unconditional kindness.
The happiness that I naturally possess during her presence, the satisfactory feeling that I gain by just knowing that she's there, right next to me, playing with her medallion on the ground.
An example of a pure creation.
Allah Ya7fe9' E5tee Lee; O Y5alleehaa Doum Salmaa; O Mestansa; O Met-hanya!
The candle that lights my family.
The smile that melts my heart.
The hug, that solves everything.
The innocent kiss, that I need, I just need for me to complete my day efficiently.
The talks, the surprisingly intriguing talks, that richen my heart with joy, pride and unlimited love.
UmSalem, I Can't sum her up in a post. Hell, she can never be summed up.
She owns one of those rarely found hearts, that never explored evilness. A heart that is absolutely free of hatred. A heart that never holds any grudges.
A heart that literally pours unconditional kindness.
The happiness that I naturally possess during her presence, the satisfactory feeling that I gain by just knowing that she's there, right next to me, playing with her medallion on the ground.
An example of a pure creation.
Allah Ya7fe9' E5tee Lee; O Y5alleehaa Doum Salmaa; O Mestansa; O Met-hanya!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Is There Someone?
A thought stroked my mind today, a pleasant one I must admit.
What if there was someone, an anonymous someone, that cared for me, had a crush on me, liked me?, without me knowing.
What if there was someone, that is missing me terribly? wishing to talk to me but didn't pick up enough courage to do so?
No, I'm not a paranoid person, that just thinks about himself, that is actually that self-centred to think that way, but its just a thought!, What if?
I'm always used to have my own, one-sided crushes that rarely worked but this thought changed the balance of the whole situation.
I'm not insinuating that I currently know of, somebody who has a 'crush' on me, I'm just writing what's on my mind. Bluntly and absent-mindedly! A thought that I thought is quite interesting!
-----------
On a very different note, I'm well into my holiday, and its going quite well. I didnt start 'reading' the thing, Bess I'm reading this novel that's nice by a so-called 'Ken Follett ', and a lot of things are surprisingly occupying me. Something I do appreciate, as I really despise the state of boredom that hit me on holidays!
-----------
Also, I would like to Salute FourMe on her strength and great will that is admirable on all stages by me and other people. She's such a powerful person.
Allah Yshafeeha; O Ya7meeha .. O Ya36eeha el 9e77a Wel 3afyaa o 6oulat el 3umr!
And Anony; I really Can't express enough their effect on me.
What if there was someone, an anonymous someone, that cared for me, had a crush on me, liked me?, without me knowing.
What if there was someone, that is missing me terribly? wishing to talk to me but didn't pick up enough courage to do so?
No, I'm not a paranoid person, that just thinks about himself, that is actually that self-centred to think that way, but its just a thought!, What if?
I'm always used to have my own, one-sided crushes that rarely worked but this thought changed the balance of the whole situation.
I'm not insinuating that I currently know of, somebody who has a 'crush' on me, I'm just writing what's on my mind. Bluntly and absent-mindedly! A thought that I thought is quite interesting!
-----------
On a very different note, I'm well into my holiday, and its going quite well. I didnt start 'reading' the thing, Bess I'm reading this novel that's nice by a so-called 'Ken Follett ', and a lot of things are surprisingly occupying me. Something I do appreciate, as I really despise the state of boredom that hit me on holidays!
-----------
Also, I would like to Salute FourMe on her strength and great will that is admirable on all stages by me and other people. She's such a powerful person.
Allah Yshafeeha; O Ya7meeha .. O Ya36eeha el 9e77a Wel 3afyaa o 6oulat el 3umr!
And Anony; I really Can't express enough their effect on me.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Finished!
I'm actually finished. Finished. FINISHED!
FINISHEDDDD
I Can't Believe it; absorb it?; I'm actually finished.
No more school; No more School!; No More School!
I can't imagine my self school-less! I just Can't.
My Life?
11 years; Every day of the eleven years; I've been going to that School.
And Now .. Poof .. It's Finished.
I Can't Sense Freedom!
I can't feel freedom!
I've been told that these are bitter-sweet moments!
I don't Find any Sweetness; NONE!
I'll miss it!
I'll miss my friends, and not the ones that I'm close to; NO .. The ones that I just say 'Hi' to. Those are the ones that make it better!
I'll miss the teachers!; No more endless conversations of Non-School related topics.
No more shit singing in the corridors!
No more 'Good Mornings' To smiling people!
Shit!
I just can't comprehend it!
I'm Finished!
I don't like this feeling!
I don't like change!
Baq9am; Has left the Campus :(!
FINISHEDDDD
I Can't Believe it; absorb it?; I'm actually finished.
No more school; No more School!; No More School!
I can't imagine my self school-less! I just Can't.
My Life?
11 years; Every day of the eleven years; I've been going to that School.
And Now .. Poof .. It's Finished.
I Can't Sense Freedom!
I can't feel freedom!
I've been told that these are bitter-sweet moments!
I don't Find any Sweetness; NONE!
I'll miss it!
I'll miss my friends, and not the ones that I'm close to; NO .. The ones that I just say 'Hi' to. Those are the ones that make it better!
I'll miss the teachers!; No more endless conversations of Non-School related topics.
No more shit singing in the corridors!
No more 'Good Mornings' To smiling people!
Shit!
I just can't comprehend it!
I'm Finished!
I don't like this feeling!
I don't like change!
Baq9am; Has left the Campus :(!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Did I Do a Mistake?
The occasional doubt is kicking in again! Since I realised that I'm actually an agnostic person, I stopped praying due to the obvious reason. But I miss it, I really do.
Although it was just an 'exercise', the impact it has on my life proved to be apparent. The satisfaction you get after each prayer, and the relief you experience is what anybody would long for. Who doesn't want a constant feel of relief, 5 times a day, 7 day a week and so on.
Also, the fact that I'm constantly lying to my mum, is nerve-wrecking. I hate seeing myself deceive my mother. She expects me to pray, and I need to pray, bess for God; Mu 7agha.
The question is; Did I do a mistake by stopping my prayers?
Should I be praying even though, I'm in an extreme state of doubt.
The good thing is that by Saturday, I'll be starting my quest, by reading Tafseer el 8ur2an; something I really am looking forward to.
Although it was just an 'exercise', the impact it has on my life proved to be apparent. The satisfaction you get after each prayer, and the relief you experience is what anybody would long for. Who doesn't want a constant feel of relief, 5 times a day, 7 day a week and so on.
Also, the fact that I'm constantly lying to my mum, is nerve-wrecking. I hate seeing myself deceive my mother. She expects me to pray, and I need to pray, bess for God; Mu 7agha.
The question is; Did I do a mistake by stopping my prayers?
Should I be praying even though, I'm in an extreme state of doubt.
The good thing is that by Saturday, I'll be starting my quest, by reading Tafseer el 8ur2an; something I really am looking forward to.
Monday, May 31, 2010
5ayeff!
A worry has been eating me up these days. What if I didn't do enough? What if I fail my Ig's or not bring up the grades I was aiming for?
Something that's completely factual and is of utter truth is that I didn't work hard for these grades, I didn't study hard enough, I didn't care enough.
These moments of my life are supposed to be one the most strenuous and gruelling times of my life, where the sole reason of my existence are the books and my head wouldn't part these textbooks a couple of milliseconds.
But, I'm not any of this. I'm taking the whole Ig's thing very lightly. I'm not studying like I supposed to be, Oh, why the present tense? I didn't study like I was supposed to.
My Ig's finish on the 11th and I have finished 5 subjects forever in my high school career which are Maths, Physics, English 2nd Language, Arabic 2nd Language and Geography. And I have 4 subjects left with different papers which are; Biology, Chemistry, economics and lastly English 1st Language.
Let me go through each of the 9 subject one by one and explain to me my situation, should I be that worried?
1- Maths; Oh well, this subject is the only one that I got tuition for, and I think I did good. I had a good understanding of the subject and came out of both papers with an unconcerned nature and that's comforting, Right? Well yes, it was one of the easiest exams ever in the Ig History. But the thing with maths, is that the grades are unpredictable and the silly mistakes are counted by the millions, so its considerably a matter of luck.
Another thing, that is a bit worrying, is that just last night, I dreamt about my maths grade and it turned out that I got an E. Very realistic dream that made me very happy when I woke up of the dream.
2- Physics; Oh, Physics' paper 3, The hardest and most graded paper, was extremely hard and made me very uncomfortable. I'm very pessimistic with this subject after that particular paper and I think I'm going to fail this one.
3- English 2nd Language; Inshalla A!
4- Arabic 2nd Language; If I didn't get an A*, I need, either to be admitted to a mental hospital or commit suicide!
5- Geography; Well I entered all three paper with minimal studying and just with my greatly self-admired attribute of me, my common sense. I think I did good and at least a C would be sufficient for my pleasing.
6- Biology; I did 2 papers out of 3, and they were to a certain extent good; I still didn't do the multiple choice which I'm currently fearing due to my lack of studying. I also need to be very thankful that the hardest paper of this subject turned out to be another geography exam which was nice.
7- Chemistry; NO COMMENT; I Have the hard paper coming up, I think I'm going to Fail it :(; I should do some past papers but Im not!
8- Economics; I just need to learn the supply-demand graph; But i still yet to learn it; Fuck me!
9- English 1st Language; I missed out on yesterday's 4 hour revision lesson; I also think I'm going to at most get a C from this exam.
Extremely Boring post; I even bored myself writing it; Oh well I guess its a post for me to read after I get disastrous results on August; and just regret my, not even funny, lack of studying.
Something that's completely factual and is of utter truth is that I didn't work hard for these grades, I didn't study hard enough, I didn't care enough.
These moments of my life are supposed to be one the most strenuous and gruelling times of my life, where the sole reason of my existence are the books and my head wouldn't part these textbooks a couple of milliseconds.
But, I'm not any of this. I'm taking the whole Ig's thing very lightly. I'm not studying like I supposed to be, Oh, why the present tense? I didn't study like I was supposed to.
My Ig's finish on the 11th and I have finished 5 subjects forever in my high school career which are Maths, Physics, English 2nd Language, Arabic 2nd Language and Geography. And I have 4 subjects left with different papers which are; Biology, Chemistry, economics and lastly English 1st Language.
Let me go through each of the 9 subject one by one and explain to me my situation, should I be that worried?
1- Maths; Oh well, this subject is the only one that I got tuition for, and I think I did good. I had a good understanding of the subject and came out of both papers with an unconcerned nature and that's comforting, Right? Well yes, it was one of the easiest exams ever in the Ig History. But the thing with maths, is that the grades are unpredictable and the silly mistakes are counted by the millions, so its considerably a matter of luck.
Another thing, that is a bit worrying, is that just last night, I dreamt about my maths grade and it turned out that I got an E. Very realistic dream that made me very happy when I woke up of the dream.
2- Physics; Oh, Physics' paper 3, The hardest and most graded paper, was extremely hard and made me very uncomfortable. I'm very pessimistic with this subject after that particular paper and I think I'm going to fail this one.
3- English 2nd Language; Inshalla A!
4- Arabic 2nd Language; If I didn't get an A*, I need, either to be admitted to a mental hospital or commit suicide!
5- Geography; Well I entered all three paper with minimal studying and just with my greatly self-admired attribute of me, my common sense. I think I did good and at least a C would be sufficient for my pleasing.
6- Biology; I did 2 papers out of 3, and they were to a certain extent good; I still didn't do the multiple choice which I'm currently fearing due to my lack of studying. I also need to be very thankful that the hardest paper of this subject turned out to be another geography exam which was nice.
7- Chemistry; NO COMMENT; I Have the hard paper coming up, I think I'm going to Fail it :(; I should do some past papers but Im not!
8- Economics; I just need to learn the supply-demand graph; But i still yet to learn it; Fuck me!
9- English 1st Language; I missed out on yesterday's 4 hour revision lesson; I also think I'm going to at most get a C from this exam.
Extremely Boring post; I even bored myself writing it; Oh well I guess its a post for me to read after I get disastrous results on August; and just regret my, not even funny, lack of studying.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Faster Than a Ferrari?
Fast.
Time is running with ferocious velocity and it't accelerating by the second.
Everybody is noticing this; seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years and decades are flying by unnoticed, unappreciated.
I don't like it.
I hate that time is becoming of passive importance amongst a lot of people. People just don't understand the concept of it nor do they pay it enough attention, I don't even understand it. But what's really obvious and almost all of us are oblivious about is that time is escaping.
Where is it?
Yesterday, just yesterday was new year's eve.
before yesterday was the day I opened this blog, oh and by the way, before yesterday is Average's first birthday.
How is it like that?
What makes like that?
How can I Saviour the moments of joy, pride, happiness and even sadness?
How can I remember all of these feelings, all of these momories that are fading from my mind by the minute?
I hate that I have a bad memory, I hate that I can't remember everything, especially the good and funny stuff of my life.
I envy people that can remember joyful moments and just laugh at them and admire them whilst I can't do that.
Funny enough, one of the only things that makes me look forward for judgement day is the fact that I can remember absolutely everything that happened in my life. I'd probably don't want that at the time due to my heavy sins and very little deeds, but right now, that's one of the things that makes me assured and content.
Returning to our present, Where is time? Why is it in such a dangerous hurry?
I don't want to blink and another year passes by, I really don't.
This frightening speed taken up by time belittles life on Earth, it just makes it very insignificant.
What's life?
Just several decades of joy and agony that is all summed up under Earth. Whether rich or poor, whether good or bad, we're all heading for the same direction.
And that's scary, Is there something afterwards?
Will we be remembered in a good way?
Will we survive the hereafter?
Time is an extremely interesting subject. It's just so enlightening and acts like a lesson every time you think about it. It moralizes a human being and makes him understand the importance of life or its unimportance. Such an effective way of teaching a lesson.
I know that with a blink of an eye, I'll remember writing this, a month from now or even a year, or even a decade, and think about it exactly the same.
"Time proved to be Faster than a Ferrari" ..
Time is running with ferocious velocity and it't accelerating by the second.
Everybody is noticing this; seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years and decades are flying by unnoticed, unappreciated.
I don't like it.
I hate that time is becoming of passive importance amongst a lot of people. People just don't understand the concept of it nor do they pay it enough attention, I don't even understand it. But what's really obvious and almost all of us are oblivious about is that time is escaping.
Where is it?
Yesterday, just yesterday was new year's eve.
before yesterday was the day I opened this blog, oh and by the way, before yesterday is Average's first birthday.
How is it like that?
What makes like that?
How can I Saviour the moments of joy, pride, happiness and even sadness?
How can I remember all of these feelings, all of these momories that are fading from my mind by the minute?
I hate that I have a bad memory, I hate that I can't remember everything, especially the good and funny stuff of my life.
I envy people that can remember joyful moments and just laugh at them and admire them whilst I can't do that.
Funny enough, one of the only things that makes me look forward for judgement day is the fact that I can remember absolutely everything that happened in my life. I'd probably don't want that at the time due to my heavy sins and very little deeds, but right now, that's one of the things that makes me assured and content.
Returning to our present, Where is time? Why is it in such a dangerous hurry?
I don't want to blink and another year passes by, I really don't.
This frightening speed taken up by time belittles life on Earth, it just makes it very insignificant.
What's life?
Just several decades of joy and agony that is all summed up under Earth. Whether rich or poor, whether good or bad, we're all heading for the same direction.
And that's scary, Is there something afterwards?
Will we be remembered in a good way?
Will we survive the hereafter?
Time is an extremely interesting subject. It's just so enlightening and acts like a lesson every time you think about it. It moralizes a human being and makes him understand the importance of life or its unimportance. Such an effective way of teaching a lesson.
I know that with a blink of an eye, I'll remember writing this, a month from now or even a year, or even a decade, and think about it exactly the same.
"Time proved to be Faster than a Ferrari" ..
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Conscience or Image?
Am I fearing a ruined image of me? Or is it really my conscience?
I currently believe that I'm tricking myself into believing that it's actually my conscience whilst what I have come to realise is that I cant tolerate me being talked about in a bad way.
I despise that.
I lack confidence.
I made a wrong decision, Who doesn't? I think I made wrong decisions forever.
But, never were these decisions questioned nor even noticed.
Whilst this particular decision I decided mere 2 days ago was to some extent public. This decision is making people, I think, question my goodness.
Well the question is, Do I really possess goodness?
I always wonder why a big number of 'good' people that gain power, turn out to be bad eventually with the influence of power and money.
I also thought that whenever I gain any sort of power, I would not gain advantage from nor misuse it.
But, on a minute scale, I got that power, and instantaneously I made the wrong decision with no hesitation, with no consideration and with no ethics whatsoever.
The scary thing is that, I didn't come to realise that I made a mistake until I knew people were dealing with it and talking about it. When I realised that my 'goodness' is being questioned and a bad spot have been entered into my 'allegedly' sparkly white files.
How many mistakes did I do?
How many moments of power did I possess and let somebody down?
Is my feeling of guilt a product of my supposed fear from that question of goodness or is it really my conscience hurting me?
Its not a nice feeling to be in, hating being in your own skin, but I do have a glimpse of satisfaction, as me realising this aspect of my life is comforting and assuring.
Maybe I'll think more next time, maybe I'll value these powerful moments I have and maybe if I do a mistake, my real conscience will alarm me, not the tongues of people.
Or maybe not!
I currently believe that I'm tricking myself into believing that it's actually my conscience whilst what I have come to realise is that I cant tolerate me being talked about in a bad way.
I despise that.
I lack confidence.
I made a wrong decision, Who doesn't? I think I made wrong decisions forever.
But, never were these decisions questioned nor even noticed.
Whilst this particular decision I decided mere 2 days ago was to some extent public. This decision is making people, I think, question my goodness.
Well the question is, Do I really possess goodness?
I always wonder why a big number of 'good' people that gain power, turn out to be bad eventually with the influence of power and money.
I also thought that whenever I gain any sort of power, I would not gain advantage from nor misuse it.
But, on a minute scale, I got that power, and instantaneously I made the wrong decision with no hesitation, with no consideration and with no ethics whatsoever.
The scary thing is that, I didn't come to realise that I made a mistake until I knew people were dealing with it and talking about it. When I realised that my 'goodness' is being questioned and a bad spot have been entered into my 'allegedly' sparkly white files.
How many mistakes did I do?
How many moments of power did I possess and let somebody down?
Is my feeling of guilt a product of my supposed fear from that question of goodness or is it really my conscience hurting me?
Its not a nice feeling to be in, hating being in your own skin, but I do have a glimpse of satisfaction, as me realising this aspect of my life is comforting and assuring.
Maybe I'll think more next time, maybe I'll value these powerful moments I have and maybe if I do a mistake, my real conscience will alarm me, not the tongues of people.
Or maybe not!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
One Lucky Bastard
I am One lucky Bastard .. just a Fuckin Lucky Bastard ..
I entered most of my Ig Exams With almost no studying whatsoever and I think im doing good. I Seem very over confident .. Bess I didnt do not 1 exam where i Felt 'Fuck thats Hard' ..
O Madree Laiish ..
I mean; I'm not that Genius; Nor Im Smart in any Way ..
I Have some common Sense; But that doesnt make u pass Ig's ..
O El wagt where i need to Pray .. And Ask God for Help. Im Not .. Im Still in the Doubt Phase ..
----------------
What Makes me look forward to the Summer is that Im going to Explore something Soo Beautiful; So Miraculous .. So Powerful .. and Just Know it .. In my holidays ..
Uff; el Qur2an .. I Cant Waiitt .. On the 13th of june im gonna Start .. :P ..
-------------
3ali ebn Abee 6aleb .. Tsk tsk .. 5ayal ..
------------
I realised that i Love writing, Reading .. I Adore these 2 Things in mee; and I adore Doing them ..
I Miss Reading for fun; I miss jefferey Deaver's Thriller Books .. I Want to write a Novel .. Weddee .. ;p ..
------------
FourMe ..
I know She'll Get through this With Flying Colours ..
-----------
Just Because im talking to this person right now; I'll Mention them .. YA .. :P ..
Lets See; When Will They See this .. ;p ..
---------
I know i bought it to myself .. Bess I Hate that I lost my Anonymity .. I Cant A keep a Secret About me to myself .. I trust ppl ever so easily .. ;/ ..
Bess laiil7een el 7amdella Nobody Betrayed that .. :D ..
------------
Mmm .. Bess; I miss Posting here .. bess in a Few days time Ra7 Tmelloun menne ..
------------
I Finish my Ig's at the 11th ..
I entered most of my Ig Exams With almost no studying whatsoever and I think im doing good. I Seem very over confident .. Bess I didnt do not 1 exam where i Felt 'Fuck thats Hard' ..
O Madree Laiish ..
I mean; I'm not that Genius; Nor Im Smart in any Way ..
I Have some common Sense; But that doesnt make u pass Ig's ..
O El wagt where i need to Pray .. And Ask God for Help. Im Not .. Im Still in the Doubt Phase ..
----------------
What Makes me look forward to the Summer is that Im going to Explore something Soo Beautiful; So Miraculous .. So Powerful .. and Just Know it .. In my holidays ..
Uff; el Qur2an .. I Cant Waiitt .. On the 13th of june im gonna Start .. :P ..
-------------
3ali ebn Abee 6aleb .. Tsk tsk .. 5ayal ..
------------
I realised that i Love writing, Reading .. I Adore these 2 Things in mee; and I adore Doing them ..
I Miss Reading for fun; I miss jefferey Deaver's Thriller Books .. I Want to write a Novel .. Weddee .. ;p ..
------------
FourMe ..
I know She'll Get through this With Flying Colours ..
-----------
Just Because im talking to this person right now; I'll Mention them .. YA .. :P ..
Lets See; When Will They See this .. ;p ..
---------
I know i bought it to myself .. Bess I Hate that I lost my Anonymity .. I Cant A keep a Secret About me to myself .. I trust ppl ever so easily .. ;/ ..
Bess laiil7een el 7amdella Nobody Betrayed that .. :D ..
------------
Mmm .. Bess; I miss Posting here .. bess in a Few days time Ra7 Tmelloun menne ..
------------
I Finish my Ig's at the 11th ..
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
IGCSE; Moment Of Truth!
In one hour and a half the most important month of my life starts.
My life depends on this month ..
And although im extremely Calm; I didn't equip myself with enough studying to attack this month!
2 years of my life passed; and through all of it I've been looking forward for this dreaded month.
And What tops it all; is my in-certainty and insecurity at this stage.
I Seem so calm on the outside; But on the inside; Im SCARED; Im Fushin Scared .. ;/ ..
Ed3oulee ..
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Lord Average ..
Mr Average Here Was Elected Lord .. At Prom ..
My Suit Turned out to be The Best O My Friends voted For Mee .. E7m e7m .. ;p ..
O I slow Danced With The Lady .. :$ .. ;p ..
I Know Anony Is Proud Of Mee ??; 9a77 .. :P??
It Was A Great Night .. O We Had Great Fun ..
A Post for the Memory .. ;p ..
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