An Apology ..

' E3thereenee .. ' <3 ..

My 2 Angels ..

I am really a very blessed person.

I am blessed with having 2 angels that guard me; Are there for me and Love me whenever I need them.
They mean life to me;

I Dont know who's the person that said a man can't have a clean friendly loving relationship with a women ??; With no sexual/romantic feelings arising .. ??

I Have 2 females in my life who are my best friends
They showed Me Me!
They Highlighted Me to Me ..


Thank You God for giving me this bliss ..

I LOVE THEM ..

A Cocktail Of Feelings ..

dizziness, tiredness, Minute Depression, Gratefulness, Far-Reaching Ambition, Pressured!! ..

And loads More Streaming in my Veins, Is it the Fact that im not opening a single book, Or Is it that Crush that i cant brush off After Several Tries!

I find Myself seeking measures to escape reality; Its Either by playing hours and hours of Football Manager Or by reading a Book, Or just sitting in a toilet counting tiles on the wall and the best way is to Sleep!

These measures are tiring me!!


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I also Hate the Fact that I lack Imagination!
I Lack the Ability to think, To Make, to Brainstorm!
To Write!
I Want To Write .. I Dream Of Writing, But I Cant!
WHY??

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I Dont Mind A Psychiatrist .. !!

A Lack of a Certain 'Want'

My Real Deal Ig Exams Are Coming up in 5 months.

well At the Beginning Let me Sum up to you what are MY Ig's (IGCSE Exams) ..
Well; The Period Where My Exams start and End is the Defining period of my Entire Life. It decides my Humble But Probably Festive Future. The 13 years of Studying are summarised in a 1-month exam Drenched/saturated period!

Well To See My Sum of those exams; You may think, Well a normal person would start studying Right Now, At this second to ensure a good percentage at the end; But unfortunately Ladies and Gentlemen, Average is far from Normal :( ..

These exams start at may, and People in my school are starting their tuitions and started preparing for those exams, But Me?; No; .. My Laptop is occupying 99% of my hours awake and the other hours of the day Im snoring .. :( ..

Why?

Well; I Lack the want to Study .. I Dont Know Why But I cant seem to make my brain adapt to the fact that; '' Ok Average start Studying, Attempt to Study' .. But Another No; I seem to Cant do it ?

remember My Mocks; My School Still didnt Issue my grades; So I think My Brain is waiting for those results ?; But Probably Its just lying to me .. :/ .. It wants me to think like that ..

Or is It El Shaii6an?
Madree .. :/ ..


What Do i Doo ??

PS; Now My Blog is done; How do i Advertise Itt :P?
I Suffer from LAck of Comments .. and Me; I Franklyy Need attention .. In Here and In Reality ..

I Lust Itt ..

Waking up in the morning, bored to death. Knowing that I will go through that routine of work that is always similar with its mostly unpleasant surprises. Having the thought at the back of my head that something is missing, expecting a bad event to happen in the next few hours.

Working as a paediatrician is hard work. Its not just having a childishly decorated office with lots of clichéd cartoon pictures. This is just the deceiving cover to a neck paining job.

Lots of Routine work ahead of me. Many over concerned parents with that extra bit of cash send their servants to me tagging along their obviously spoilt children with a little cough or running nose to check on them. Well I cant complain, these cases are the my primary source of income that I depend on.

The cases that really concern me and touch me deeply are the heart breaking ones. Parents with limited income forced to take a loan and bring their children for a diagnosis and a cure but for rare but possible cases, to get the definite bad news that their baby is going to highlight his mortality in a short period of time.

That case that i will eventually get is the one that is ringing the bells of reality at the back of my head for as hoping that this wont happen is a silly thought after time.

The Only thing that will exclude me of that effing reality is a cigarette.

That moment of pure exhilarance is what I Lust in my cigarette. Watching the orange baby flame flicker and fight its way through that entangled forest is enough to trigger my adrenaline glands every time.

Delivering that mysterious smoke to the air with such smoothness and seeing its successful efforts to camouflage itself in thin air is a endearing craving. Almost like mocking a magicians trick with such subtleness.

And With it having a cup of americano coffee that will knock out the small left out bits of sleep out of my head.

A small Part of me loves my job, A Big part of me loves what I do before my job. A Ciggy and Coffee!



*All of this is from My Imagination; Except the part of me lusting a ciggy .. ;p ..
** I DONT SMOKE!; I just lust it ..